#2306

I point and the Oracle removes one card from the fanned arc on the table before us. With two fingers she pushes the card across the smooth surface, back and forth, tracing a pentagram again and again before turning the card over. She nods as if its identity is of no surprise to her but the card is blank to me, a plain white surface. The Oracle’s eyes see more than mine ever will; they show her a dark ship on a dark sea, storm clouds billowing behind its full black sails. In the forefront two hands clasp, one simple and bare, the other adorned with fine jewels and intricate tattoos. The Wager, she names it, and says when you draw this card it means you are playing a game in which you yourself are the wager. I stare down at the blank card, heart racing, and wonder, Do I want to be won?

#2269 – Summer Solstice

True Black Tarot

Some say revenge is a dish best served cold. Others say the best revenge is a life well lived. These claims, however, are in actuality both quite inadequate. I have taken revenge countless times, in every manner possible and with every kind of weapon, and I therefore can state with confidence that the most satisfying revenge is intimate. A razor to the throat; a blade to the breast; a knife to the back. The sort of sharp, bloody end most fitting for traitors and cowards, those whose betrayal has cut you to your very core. You want to hold your victim in your arms so you feel the moment his strength finally fails. You want to hear the blood bubbling in his throat as he struggles to breathe. You want to hold his gaze as he dies so in his final moment he knows you did not forget and will not forgive. It is like a dance, two partners entwined, heartbeat to heartbeat, and then the knife. It always ends with the knife.

You ask why the Moon killed the Sun but never why the resurrected Sun in turn killed the Moon. Did he really do so to restore balance to the world, as the story says? To complete the cycle of sacrifice and usher in glorious summer? Perhaps. It gives a nice symmetry to the mythology, doesn’t it? Death for life and life for death. But maybe that’s just the fairy tale version where everything has a purpose and everyone a happy ending. Maybe that’s nothing more than a lovely lie.

Maybe the truth is that the Sun killed the Moon simply for the sweet satisfaction of revenge.

#2230

Mother, under Your bright gaze I become a child again!
I am the Six of Cups dancing in the forest
I am the Three of Wands yearning for a new adventure

Mother, under Your patient gaze I become a child again!
I am the generosity of the pentacles
I am the curiosity of the swords

Mother, under Your loving gaze I become a child again!
I am the Fool’s fearless freedom
I am Strength’s courage and the Star’s faith

Mother, under Your holy gaze I become a child again!

#2196

I bring you offerings of tarot cards and whiskey and in return you kiss your burning mark upon my brow, that in my dreams I may pass through the realm of angels and demons without harm. The white wolf makes its last stand before nine tall trees while the emperor slits his throat and bleeds out a golden river in the grass as the hanged man. I am the scribe blessed by death, immune to the curses of witches and the poisons of vipers, and nothing can keep me from you. I will calm the wolf and bind his wounds. I will bury the hanged man and adorn his grave with flowers. I will know you in every iteration from heaven to hell for you have named me Anant the endless, Anant the seventy-ninth card, Anant who is witness to the beginning and the end. Thus I wait. Thus I watch.

#2176

the Morrigan throws the Hierophant at me (why do you let yourself be bound by useless convention?) and empty fortune cookies (do you think I will just hand the answers to you?) and in my dreams I soar high on black wings while in mud puddles a thousand feet below She writes great wisdom I cannot read (shit happens), and thus is the nature of Her worship

#2168

I ask the Morrigan what side of Her I need to better understand and She shows me the Five of Pentacles. Traditionally this card portrays a ragged individual huddled in the snow outside a stone building, their gaunt features highlighted by warm light pouring from a nearby window. I realized when the Morrigan gave me this card that I make several automatic assumptions based on the image. First, that this person is a soldier, with the bandages on their arms or legs suggesting wounds earned in battle. Second, that this stone edifice they shelter beside is a church with a service currently in session. And third, that this soldier stands in the snow outside the church, begging for a coin or bite of bread, because the church refuses to succor them. Why these assumptions? I do not know, but I feel they are the core of the Morrigan’s message regardless of the card’s classical interpretation. To me, the Five of Pentacles shows how the church has turned away this old soldier and yet the Morrigan stands with him in the cold darkness. After the war ends, after the victories and defeats have faded to mere history, the Morrigan remembers all those who fought on both sides. She remembers – and She understands. She understands the ache of old wounds which refuse to heal. She understands the weight of memories too dark to share with loved ones. She understands the difficulty of returning to a society that values war yet devalues those who must wage it. The Morrigan is not only a goddess of battle; She is a goddess of war, and war does not end just because one has left the battlefield.

#2125 – Help Cats with Tarot!

These days I feel very, very helpless in the world. The sheer number of vulnerable lives, both human and animal, in need of saving paralyzes me – I think, if I can’t help everyone, then what’s the point? So every week I sit in front of Bast’s altar begging Her to show me how to function without losing my compassion and how to be compassionate without going mad. Help me be a force of good in the world, I plead. Help me save as many of Your children as I can.

And in Her way, She answers. She makes sure I stumble upon a WordPress post from The Whiskers Syndicate, the only cat sanctuary in Bandung, Indonesia, a city with no animal welfare laws or shelters to protect the cats bred there by the hundreds of thousands. A single amazing woman, Josie, keeps this sanctuary and its 90+ cats alive, and in whatever spare time she has she tries to help as many other cats in the area as possible. Spaying, neutering, life-saving surgeries, even just a little food or a dry place to sleep – these cats rely on her to protect them as no one else in the city will.

I can’t do much for these cats from 8,400 miles away. I can donate money, though, and I can urge others to do the same with a dedication of time on my part. To that end, I’m officially opening up paid tarot readings! It’s the least I can do, and hopefully this will help spread the word so others learn about this vital organization. My guidelines are as follows:

– The readings are on a donation basis, please pay what you think is fair and I promise my full dedication to your question or issue*
– You can donate directly to the organization and send me a screenshot of your PayPal receipt
– I will also accept donations to other cat-focused organizations (humane societies, etc)
– I’m happy to communicate in whatever method is easiest for you, we can swap emails or you can find me on Tumblr or Twitter
– You are welcome to remain anonymous, I just need a nickname or pseudonym for the reading

I am also open to creating custom sigils and prayers for those who are interested, or other witchy-type services/trades. Don’t hesitate to ask. I hope that together we can bring a little brightness into the lives of all the Whiskers Syndicate cats!

(*Please be aware that PayPal donations to foreign countries may carry a larger fee than those made within your home country)

 

#2107

the devil is trapped between swords and pentacles and i do not know if i can free him or if he even wants me too, he is a candle in the darkness that burns too hot to touch and yet always i am reaching out to scorch my useless flesh, dip my fingers deep down in that glass black scrying wax, you know we are the same with our hands dripping stains so where are you, where are you, i will rend open heaven and hell to carry or drag you out if i must, i will find you i will find you i will find

you

#2104

someone’s tarot cards say the Moon’s fucking shit up for me and it’s like GOD, i know, right?? tell me something i don’t know, like how much longer i gotta wait out this silent treatment, like if i’m going crazy or just always was, like what do i do what do i do what do i fucking do, and someone else is complaining the Devil won’t leave them alone and I want to say tell that fucker to come talk to me then, he won’t return my calls but i don’t because there are some things you just don’t acknowledge and i am full of them, they are apparently all i am, what a surprise

#2098

Tarot reading with Bast regarding how helpless I feel in the world right now, and what I personally can do to make a difference.

Question: Do this to be a force of good in the world
Card: The Fool
Interpretation: I’ve been pulling this card a lot lately, so I’m definitely not surprised to see it again. The Fool urges me to take chances, to be brave and optimistic, and to try to see the world in a new way. Dwelling on the past will only hold me down; if I want to do good, I need to let go of my (many) fears and anxieties and force myself to jump into the unknown.

Question: Stop doing this to be a force of good in the world
Card: Temperance
Interpretation: Cat Mom’s calling me out – I need to stop being the peacekeeper in tense situations and start standing up for the side that I know is right. My instinct is always to smooth things over, to avoid conflict or at least keep out of it, but that’s not always the right choice. It’s important, of course, to understand others’ viewpoints and the role opposites play in balancing out our world; however, hate and ignorance need to be met with courage, not neutrality, and there are plenty of situations where right and wrong are very clearly defined. As someone who is as non-confrontational as humanly possible, this will be… challenging.

Question: Remember this as you go forward
Card: 3 of Swords
Interpretation: There is a time to mourn and a time to heal, and I need to give myself the space to do both properly. Like pruning a tree, I need to recognize where branches have died and cut them away so new branches can grow. I shouldn’t try to ignore all the awful stuff happening in the world; I just need to remember to process my anger and sorrow in a way that helps me to take actionable steps to enact change.

#2082

Tarot reading with Bast and Inanna because my brain has been in a semi-frantic state of wondering, “Am I witch? Do I want to be?? What does that mean???”. Introspection is great, but sometimes you need to get out of your own head by seeing what the cards have to say.

Question: What will identifying as a witch bring me?
Card: The Fool
Interpretation: I doubt I could have pulled a more archetypal card for this question. Clearly, choosing to identify as a witch will open up a whole new journey for me, hopefully one of adventure, personal growth, and satisfying rewards. The Fool in the Shadowscapes deck is a very joyous card, one that celebrates the possibilities inherent in any new venture even while acknowledging the hard work ahead. As a harbinger of how this choice may affect my life, I find The Fool to be a very positive prediction.

Question: What, deep down in my heart, do I truly want to do?
Card: Page of Wands
Interpretation: I have always identified most with the suit of Wands and so I wasn’t at all surprised to see a Wand card in this position. The Page of Wands indicates a desire to embrace creativity and confidence, to finally take action, and to delve within yourself to seek opportunities that seem frightening or otherwise impossible. The Page of Wands is comfortable in their skin and has almost mastered their craft, which allows them to meet new challenges with grace and intuition. I long to reach this stage in my spiritual journey and I think this card illuminates a desire inside me to learn more, to do more, that I haven’t acknowledged before.

Question: What advice does Bast have for me?
Card: 9 of Swords
Interpretation: Bast urges me to set aside the fear, doubt, and anguish that currently keep me from feeling worthy of the title witch. She reminds me that I am already a creature of spirituality and magic, and that the only thing holding me back is myself. If I want to walk this road, all I need do is take the first step and leave my uncertainties behind. This response is very in character with our relationship; a lot of Bast’s readings with me are basically, Stop worrying about the thing, honey, you’re fine. Still, the answer is comforting because I know that if She did see an issue with me delving into witchcraft, She would not hesitate to tell me. This card indicates not only Her approval, but also Her future support.

Question: What advice does Inanna have for me?
Card: Queen of Pentacles
Interpretation: The Shadowscapes Queen of Pentacles shows a naked red-headed woman emerging from the trunk of a great oak tree with arms outstretched. She stares directly out of the card at the reader, exuding pride and authority. When combined with this card’s meanings – security in material aspects of life, abundance, confidence, and the ability to help others – this image seems to indicate Inanna Herself. I believe She is telling me that She will be by my side for this journey, which supports the “witchy” (for lack of a better word) sense I’ve been getting from Her lately. This may be the natural extension of the path She wants me to walk; if so, witchcraft may play a role in my shadow work and self-care goals.

#2076

I get the feeling Inanna wants me to do some shadow work, so I used this tarot spread to see where I need to focus.

Question: Your current state of balance
Card: Page of Cups
Interpretation: You’re currently in a new stage of emotional development, one which strengthens feelings of sentimentality and romanticism and leads to a better balancing of your emotions. The Page of Cups especially indicates that you are partway through this phase and have made good progress on the journey of emotional connection and intuition.

Question: Your light side
Card: The Empress
Interpretation: Your light side is represented by The Empress, a card meaning great creativity, abundance, and confidence. Your light side assists in establishing and strengthening emotional connections, especially those that provide positive guidance or support.

Question: Your shadow side
Card: Knight of Pentacles
Interpretation: Your shadow side is represented by the Knight of Pentacles, a card indicating you can be stuck in your ways, rigid, apathetic, and either ignorant of or unable to read others’ emotions. Your shadow side is more concerned with physical reality and the issues of the day-to-day than dealing properly with your emotions or spirituality, which causes these to be pushed away when your shadow side is in control.

Question: How your light side expresses itself in your life
Card: Death
Interpretation: Your light side shows itself in sweeping change and dramatic transformations, in burning the old to make way for the new. Your light side helps you let go of negative influences in your life and grab hold of new, healthier ones.

Question: How your shadow side expresses itself in your life
Card: 10 of Wands
Interpretation: Your shadow side shows when you are overburdened but willing to bear those burdens in silence, when you refuse to complain or ask for help out of stubbornness or martyrdom. You feel weighed down by reality and its restrictions, unable to move or grow, and by necessity you forgo the creativity and transformation generated by your light side.

Question: Advice for balancing your light side
Card: 7 of Pentacles
Interpretation: To balance your light side, take the time to enjoy what your sowing has grown, to reap the rewards of your hard work thus far. You are making steady progress, so don’t get discouraged by what seems like too slow of a pace. Harvest is coming; give your seeds the time to grow and don’t rush what only patience and diligence can produce.

Question: Advice for balancing your shadow side
Card: 5 of Pentacles
Interpretation: To balance your shadow side, strive to see the good all around you; don’t get so lost in your own pain that you see only darkness. Ask for help, admit when you’re tired or sad, and keep moving so the thorns of stagnation and discontent can’t tangle your feet.

Other thoughts: Though three of the suits, both the major and minor arcana, and both pips and face cards are represented here, there are no swords. The spread is dominated by pentacles, which show up as my shadow side and as instruction for balancing the light and the shadow; given my struggle to identify with this suit, obviously some work needs to be done. The presence of cups and multiple pentacles is also in keeping with my other recent readings with Inanna.

#2073

Two-card tarot reading with Bast:

Question: Where am I on my spiritual journey?
Card: Ace of Pentacles
Interpretation: You’ve planted the seeds and are working hard to nourish their growth. Many possibilities are open to you and you can achieve your goals if you continue to dedicate yourself to learning and expanding your practice. You’re still in the early stages of your journey, but that’s okay; it’s a journey that will last you a lifetime.

Question: What’s next on my journey?
Card: 3 of Cups
Interpretation: Slow down, daughter! Let yourself take a moment to review the work you’ve done so far and what work will be needed in the future. Celebrate the steps you have already taken; you’ve come a long way in the last three years. Use this time to also reach out to your community, to grow your connections with others who share your beliefs or practices.

– – –

One card reading with Inanna:

Question: What lesson do I need to learn from You next?
Card: Knight of Cups
Interpretation: You haven’t finished learning the first lesson yet, so slow down. You need to focus on building your intuition and through it your other psychic senses. You will need to hone all of these senses in order to continue down my path, and especially to acknowledge and accept the darkness you will find along the way.

#2068

I dreamed I was in a giant antique store which contained all sorts of pagan/witchy items. While I was walking around, a woman I did not recognize (either in the dream or in real life) found me and was convinced I was supposed to be her teacher; it seemed she had received a sign or some sort of spiritual message that I was the one to teach her witchcraft. I politely turned her down at first by saying I thought she had the wrong person, but she would not leave me alone. She stuck by her story and her certainty that I was the person she was told to find. At some point I became frustrated and snapped, “I’m not even a witch! I’m just a pagan who does some witchy stuff with my gods!” Yet something in my gut told me the woman’s certainty must have a bit of truth to it. I was even considering showing her my book of shadows, but the dream changed at that point. I woke from the dream feeling like I needed to listen to its message; while some of my dreams feel like random sleeping-brain entertainment, and others like memories of past lives, this one definitely felt like it was trying to tell me something. I couldn’t figure out what, though, so I turned to my tarot cards.

Question: What message was my dream trying to send?
Card: Ace of Pentacles
Interpretation: The Ace of Pentacles is all about prosperity. It can indicate financial security, a new financial or educational venture, or other forms of abundance – though it also cautions that patience and work are required to make these gains. Pentacles can also apparently refer to self-image, self-esteem, and the ego, as well as that which manifests itself in the physical world.

Question: What step should I take now?
Card: Justice
Interpretation: Justice counsels the need to make a reasoned and thoughtful decision after having weighed all factors. It also urges you to admit and acknowledge the truth of a situation. Justice is not necessarily a mind-over-heart card, but it does emphasize balancing the two.

Question: Who sent this dream?
Card: Nine of Wands
Interpretation: The Nine of Wands is a lull, a little breathing-room amid the constant battles of life. It indicates someone with a core of inner strength, someone who won’t back down from what they believe is right; they might be called persistent or tenacious, or even stubborn, inflexible, or rebellious. This card is also associated with fire, and especially with the fire signs Aries and Leo.

After mulling over the cards and talking with my wife, I think I sent myself the dream – or at least some inner shadow part of me did. I think the woman in the dream was that part of myself trying to get my attention. It could be that I have focused so much on outward aspects of my spirituality, such as my gods, that I have neglected to nourish my inner spiritual aspects. Even with my new journey toward self-love, I’ve been focusing way more on Inanna, what She wants from me and what I can do for Her, than myself… which is kinda the opposite of self-love. I think I need to focus inwards and get to know my (witchy??) self.

#2066

I’m really struggling lately to focus while at work and I know it’s affecting my performance. After cleansing my cubicle to hopefully rid it of bad vibes, I did a tarot reading to learn more about this issue. You can tell from the “questions” I asked that I was in a particularly frustrated mindset.

Question: Why am I being a shitty employee?
Card: Ace of Cups
Interpretation: I am starting out on a new chapter of my spiritual and emotional journey, and this is understandably consuming a lot of my energy. This card may indicate that I’m unhappy because my job doesn’t nurture this growing part of me, and thus I’m putting energy in without getting anything in return. Yes, I recognize and am incredibly thankful for the perks of my job, but on a daily basis I’m not doing work that nurtures my soul.

Question: How can I stop being a shitty employee?
Card: 2 of Cups
Interpretation: I need to get out of my dumpy, isolated mindset and focus on teamwork. I like my job best when I’m able to take burdens or tasks off of my manager’s shoulders, so I should frame more of my day in that context. Fostering harmony among my teammates will allow me to see the daily impact of my work and keep me from getting lost in the weeds. This card may also indicate that I need to interact more with my coworkers, instead of just hiding in my cubicle. That’s probably very true… but ugh, human interaction.

Question: How can I prevent myself from being a shitty employee again in the future?
Card: 8 of Wands
Interpretation: This self-defeating mindset comes over me when I have too much time on my hands. Therefore, to avoid it I need to remain focused, energetic, and strive continually toward my goals. Instead of stopping at the base of every hill I reach, thus giving me time to see how tough the climb will be and psych myself out, I need to push on and use my momentum to carry me to the summit.

#2052

Here’s what 2018 holds for me (spread from Tarot.com):

Question: A lesson learned in 2017
Card: 3 of Cups
Interpretation: This year I learned the value of developing community, in this case through the queer meetup I started early in the year. Through Queer Club I made several long lasting friendships that really encouraged me to get out of my comfort zone and boring routine. I had no idea what kind of impact it would have on me to have queer friends in real life; while I love the connections I’ve made online, there’s something much more comforting and immediate about being in a room full of other queer folks. I found this to be especially important in light of the downturn my country, and much of the world, has taken in the last year. While I can educate myself about all sorts of issues online, and offer my support, sometimes what I need is to just get off my electronics and hang out with friends. I’m so grateful for the connections I made in 2017 and excited to see how they develop in 2018.

Question: What to expect in the next year
Card: Ace of Cups
Interpretation: The Ace of Cups is here to tell me I’ll be doing more emotional, intuitive, and psychic work in 2018. I suspect I may be doing a lot of this work with Inanna’s support, as She has recently taken to communicating through cup cards. In addition, a recent energy reading mentioned a “small white bird”, which made me think of a white dove. Doves are common symbols in the cup cards of many tarot decks, and are also one of Aphrodite’s/Venus’ symbols. With Inanna encouraging me to focus on Her aspect as a goddess of love, She’s been reminding me a lot of Aphrodite and Venus (who are considered connected with Her).

Question: A challenge you’ll face in the next year
Card: 10 of Wands
Interpretation: 2018 looks to be a big year for me – more responsibilities at work, this new journey with Inanna, and the continued development of my intuition and spiritual practice. In between all that I also need to find time for family, friends, my wife, our animals, and my hobbies. The 10 of Wands therefore warns me I’ll be juggling a lot of responsibilities in 2018 and will need to tap into my inner strength to make it all happen. The 10 of Wands also rightly indicates that I’m afraid to take on some of these responsibilities and challenges (especially at work), so I’ll struggle with that anxiety as well.

Question: How to harness your inner power next year
Card: Knight of Pentacles
Interpretation: The Knight of Pentacles urges me to be methodical, patient, focused, and goal oriented. Its motto could be “slow and steady wins the race”, and there’s a lot of truth in that statement. I have zero patience, after all, and tend to procrastinate boring or unpleasant tasks out of laziness. If I want to successfully juggle all these different responsibilities and goals in 2018, I need to have a plan in place and not let myself get distracted or discouraged.

Question: Some guidance for the year ahead
Card: 4 of Pentacles
Interpretation: The 4 of Pentacles says let go! In 2018 I should try to let go of my need to control everything because all it does is cause me anxiety, anger, and depression. I need to be generous in spirit and with my blessings, instead of hoarding those blessings against some hypothetical future disaster. Having a savings is one thing; refusing to spend a dollar now because I might need it in thirty years is another. I did work on this during 2017, so I think the 4 of Pentacles is indicating I’m on the right path and should continue that work.

Question: Your personal theme for the year
Card: 4 of Cups
Interpretation: 2017 was a year of apathy as armor – though I’m not proud of being apathetic, I think a dose of apathy was what kept me from sinking even deeper into the well of depression. The 4 of Cups indicates that the time for apathy and internal discontent is over; it’s time to learn how to look within and act without, to find balance between introspection and action. Basically, I need to get out of my head, which some emotional and spiritual overhauling should help.

#2050

Inanna has been in my life for some time now, but I have yet to figure out why. I know She has plans for me, but I thus far haven’t been ready in Her eyes. I checked in with a tarot reading that gave me some unexpected answers.

Question: Where your path begins
Card: 7 of Cups
Interpretation: The 7 of Cups is a card of unlimited possibilities, fantasies, and paths. These endless choices muddle the mind and make it hard to act decisively. The head and heart may be at war, and the person may be tempted to eschew the inevitable choice for escapism or wishful thinking. I certainly feel like I’m standing in the intersection of a dozen different roads, and every direction I turn I see another option. In waiting for a strong sign from Inanna, perhaps I have lingered at this crossroads for too long. It may be time to close my eyes and trust my feet to take me down the right path. I have been trying to listen more closely to my intuition, after all.

Question: Where your path leads (the descent)
Card: 2 of Cups
Interpretation: Inanna’s path is a long and hard one, and I have feared where it might take me. I therefore did not expect to draw a card which signifies unity, relationships, understanding, and resolution or reconciliation. The 2 of Cups tells me Inanna’s path leads to an agreement or bond, or otherwise a harmony between two forces. I didn’t understand at first – was the card indicating my bond with my wife? With someone new? When I later pulled the Page of Cups, though, I determined that this card must indicate Inanna Herself.

Question: Where your path emerges
Card: Queen of Cups
Interpretation: I am so very fond of the Queen of Cups. She is a master of her intuition and subconscious, a fount of creativity, and exudes the peace needed for true introspection. She neither fears her emotions nor lets them subjugate her, but embraces and sets them free. She is everything I struggle to achieve; to know she lays at the end of this journey tells me Inanna’s path is the right one, wherever it leads me.

Question: What do you want from me?
Card: 4 of Wands
Interpretation: The 4 of Wands encourages celebration of an initial success to reward one’s hard work. Rest and relaxation have been well earned. This rejoicing can be but temporary, however, for there is much more work to come. Inanna wants to lead me to greater successes, and to celebrate those successes with me, but She also wants me to know my journey isn’t over.

Question: How will I know I’m ready?
Card: 5 of Pentacles
Interpretation: For the last two years, Inanna has been telling me I’m not ready for whatever She has planned. The 5 of Pentacles doesn’t feel like a very positive symbol of readiness, though; it’s all about feeling lost, faithless, and demoralized. You’re so preoccupied with practical difficulties and your personal sorrow that you can’t see the help that waits for you to just reach out. So what does this mean for me? Is Inanna saying that I will know I’m ready when I reach out on my own to her, instead of waiting for something to push me from behind?

I admit, I wasn’t sure what to make of this reading. I decided to draw a single clarifying card just to see if it could put things in perspective.

Question: Why are you in my life? (Asked with some exasperation… sorry Lady!)
Card: Page of Cups
Interpretation: Friendship, comfort, creativity, intuition, psychic ability, introversion and introspection. I am entering a new phase of emotional growth that requires relearning trust and embracing new feelings and attitudes. I must be still and look within, to listen to my inner voice and follow my intuition. Inanna will guide me on this journey, which will strengthen our bond and develop me spiritually in ways only She can show me. This feels like a very positive card.

Other thoughts: I pulled quite a few cups cards, so I know this journey is one of emotion. I pulled no swords, which is odd because Inanna usually uses swords to communicate with me. This reading makes me think I’ve been misinterpreting Her reason for being in my life – I thought She was going to lead me into some majorly dark stuff, because She always appears to me in Her war goddess form. But now I wonder… maybe She’s here to teach me to love myself. That will be fucking hard too, and it’ll require being tough and fierce, but it will also mean letting myself be soft and vulnerable too. I think I’ve been so focused on the Inanna of the descent that I overlooked Her other aspects. Still, it’ll be a hard journey…

#2041 – Winter Solstice

A dark stage. Tanim stares down into the glass in his hand, gives the amber liquid an idle swirl while I sought you in the last sip of laudanum, he muses aloud. From the darkness behind him, the snik snik and spark of a lighter. The flame catches, burns a small spot in the darkness to reveal Daren as he lights the cigarette poised on his lips, closes the lighter with a metallic snap. Tanim, oblivious, continues. I sought you in brothels and fight rings, and Daren, pacing, wreathed in smoke, they say madness is repeating the same action yet expecting a different result. I sought you nightly like a man possessed, Tanim finishes the drink in one long swallow, as if parched, yet you evaded me. That is not quite true, however. Tanim lifts his head, eyes searching, seeing nothing. The hand holding his glass shakes slightly less than his voice. I prayed to you; you did not reply. I prostrated myself before you; you turned your back. I courted you like a lover and yet you denied me time and time again. Daren drops the cigarette, madness is repeating the same action despite knowing you shall never produce a different result, leaves it burning in the background while he moves closer. I loved you most dearly of all hence we enter this dance again yet you are fickle, o death not because we hope to change the ending and I have winced in the light of so many unwanted dawns but because we know we cannot. Tanim, with a sigh, Can this be the end now? Can I be done? Come, fifth sword, and cut down this hanging man. I am so tired. Daren steps into the candlelight, lays a gentle hand on his jaw. Hello, brother, softly. Did I keep you waiting overlong? Tanim’s weak smile, oh sweet relief, oh final mercy. Never. They kiss. The gleam of the blade in Daren’s hand is the last movement seen before the stage goes completely dark. The glass hits the floor, shatters. The cigarette burns itself out.

20171220_193231

[ Read the other solstice pieces. ]

#2036

I’m working on opening my third eye (or whatever you want to call it), so I used this tarot spread to learn more about what I can do to balance this chakra. Weirdly enough, even though I was doing this reading with Bast, I drew no major arcana! I’m hoping that means the process will be shorter and/or easier than I thought.

Question: A card that represents my third eye
Card: 6 of Wands
Interpretation: This card can indicate victory, triumph, or achieving a goal. Sounds good – though it also warns of celebrating too much or too soon, or letting your achievements get to your head. The wands are also the suit of creativity, and the suit I most closely identify with. I take this to mean my goal is within my reach, but to not get lazy just because I think it’ll be easy.

Question: What will help me trust my intuition?
Card: 4 of Cups
Interpretation: Cut out the distractions! If I want to hear and feel my intuition, I need to cut out a lot of the noise of my everyday life – electronics, background noise, wrong priorities, etc. This card is totally dead on, because I definitely do let myself get lost in this meaningless noise, or try to accomplish my goals while surrounded by the noise anyway. I know I need to remove myself from all these distractions and get to a place of silence, where I can focus easily for long periods of time.

Question: A symbol or theme to watch for
Card: 10 of cups
Interpretation: I’ve been pulling this card in a lot of readings lately, and not just my own, so it must have something important to say. I’m not 100% sure how to interpret it, though. Does it want me to watch for water element themes like waves, aquatic life, or mermaids? Or is it indicating themes more associated with emotions and personal relationships? I guess I’ll have to be on the lookout!

Question: How to balance this chakra
Card: 8 of Cups
Interpretation: Like the 4 of Cups, the 8 of Cups wants me to focus on introspection and free myself from the daily distractions that keep me from making real progress. The 8 of Cups especially wants me to dive down beyond my outer layers of weariness, defeat, and impatience to get to the core of myself beneath.

Question: What will happen if this chakra is balanced?
Card: 5 of Cups
Interpretation: No surprise here – the 5 of Cups tells me that if I balance my third eye chakra, I will heal from past hurts and mend relationships through acceptance and dealing well with misunderstandings. Moreover, my emotions in general will be more in harmony with each other and I’ll feel better than I have in a long time. I was kind of hoping to pull something like The Moon here, something that might indicate spiritual and paranormal activity, but I guess emotional health is good too.

#2033

I did a tarot reading for someone who wanted to identify any deities or other entities in their life (for which I used this spread). With their permission, I’m posting it here because I thought it was a really interesting reading, and also what felt like my easiest/clearest reading yet.

Question: The deity or spirit
Card: 8 of Swords
Interpretation: Restraint, imprisonment, feeling captured or bound. I sense this indicates a deity or spirit who is sometimes seen as a villainous/chaotic/trickster entity like Loki, Lucifer, or Set (for some reason I get a very male energy from this card). They may be the bad guy of their pantheon, or otherwise a much maligned spirit whose negative traits overshadow their positive ones.

Question: Personality/abilities/traits
Card: Ace of Swords
Interpretation: Power and strength in adversity, discipline, justice, the element of air, cold hard logic. Again, this makes me think of someone who is seen as a darker entity, or perhaps a trickster – in general someone or something who has experienced adversity in their own pantheon, possibly for rallying against the rules set down in that pantheon. An air element could suggest an angel, as well.

Question: Omens and signs/manifestations to look for
Card: The Devil
Interpretation: While this card could be read as relating to vices like the seven sins, I don’t get that feeling. I think it indicates the more spiritual side of the Devil, and so will appear in omens/signs like keys, locks, chains, birds, and other freedom-related imagery. This could also literally mean that this entity will appear as the Devil himself, or in a form associated with him.

Question: What they want from you 
Card: 9 of Pentacles
Interpretation: This entity wants to free you from your own bondage by teaching you self-sufficiency and to focus on caring for yourself; you are probably someone who puts others first, even to your own detriment. The entity’s help should eventually lead to much success and security for you, and bring you to a place of more stable emotional health. Despite their bad reputation, they are here to help you build your confidence and flourish.

Question: Things to know
Card: 10 of Wands
Interpretation: The 10 of Wands is all about willingly taking on a heavy burden or workload that feels like more than you can bear – but you do have the strength to carry it if you keep pushing yourself. This entity, and what they want from you, might intimidate you, and that’s okay. Their road will be long and hard, and they won’t lie to you about that. However, they want you to know you’re ready for this journey and that they will help you tap into your inner strength.

Question: Things to avoid
Card: 5 of Pentacles
Interpretation: The 5 of Pentacles says you can get lost in sorrow until you are unable to see the good around you and the people who want to help you. Fight this urge and keep your head above the water. If you need help, reach out – there will be a helping hand if only you let yourself take it. Look for the little bit of light in the darkness and have faith that you will reclaim your freedom.

Overall, I concluded that this spirit or deity is here to help this person take control of their life and to become more confident and self-sufficient. I got major Lucifer vibes from the reading, though that could be my own bias showing. Either way, it sounds like they’re on the precipice of a new life journey, and I wish them luck!

(Want a reading? Just leave a comment!)

#2031

I’m starting another DnD campaign, so I decided to design my new character based on a character creation tarot spread from Tarot Sybarite. The reading ended up matching the character I was considering anyway, which I took as a sign that I should definitely use her. So I’ll be playing an aasimar warlock “magical girl” whose pact is with a celestial being. Think Cardcaptor Sakura meets DnD meets my need to create irritating but loveable characters. Personality details below, as per the reading:

Character archetype
The card: The Hanged Man
Interpretation: This character is on a journey to expand her worldview, and she is willing to put herself in uncomfortable or dangerous situations to do so. She seeks knowledge of the world, both good and bad, and is prepared to change and grow as necessary from these experiences. She has thus far lived a sheltered life, and has much to learn about the realities of the world.

Best personality trait
The card: The Page of Swords
Interpretation: This character is unfailingly honest and values truthfulness and kindness. She strives to be analytical and flexible in order to make the right decisions, but she does not fear or hide her emotions either. She feels confident that she is on the right path, and this confidence makes her a very direct, forthright person. Part of this honesty is her youthful, idyllic worldview, though, which may change as she comes to understand life is full of gray areas.

Worst personality trait
The card: 4 of Swords
Interpretation: This character never rests, as she feels she must always be acting to do right and correct wrongs. She doesn’t recharge her batteries or give herself time to meditate on the experiences she’s had and the lessons she’s learned. This can obviously be harmful to her, as she only has so much energy, but it can also be harmful to her party – or just make her really irritating to be around!

Motivation
The card: 2 of Pentacles
Interpretation: This character needs to learn to balance multiple obligations. She wants to help everyone and fix everything, but that isn’t always possible. Trying to do so stretches her too thin and causes her to neglect herself or put her party in danger. She’ll have to prioritize her ideals, which will cause a lot to internal conflict.

Goal
The card: Death
Interpretation: This character hopes to enact radical positive change in the world. Right now her worldview is very black and white, and she believes good can triumph permanently over evil. She’ll seek that goal until her experiences teach her otherwise. This radical change to her worldview and morality will be another outcome of the Death card as well.

#2028

I’ve been giving free tarot readings online to practice with my deck (just request one), and LadyMeowMix, aka Kat, was gracious enough to let me post the reading I did for her. She has been feeling a little lost lately, so I did a general directional reading.

Question: Where are you right now?
Card: The Hermit
Interpretation: Unsurprisingly, you’re kind of at a stand still. Not necessarily a bad one, but you’re definitely in a place of introspection and self discovery. That’s good! However, the hermit warns that you may get stuck in this period of inward focus and forget how to find your way back out of the metaphorical cave. Introspection is very important, but we can all get lost in the process and forget we need to actually act on our conclusions.

Question: Where are you going?
Card: Ace of Cups
Interpretation: An emotional journey is in your future. This may involve a new relationship, or perhaps the healing or evolution of a current one. Given some of the proceeding cards, this could also be someone from your past with whom you will reconnect.

Question: What advice can the cards give?
Card: 10 of Swords
Interpretation: You won’t be in control of this journey. You may feel like you’re free falling, or like everything is out of your control and crashing  down. As hard as it will be, try to fall with grace and have faith that things will work out in the end. You probably won’t see this connection,  or re-connection, coming and it may not be a welcome surprise for you. Keep in mind the greater journey and weather the hard times as best you can.

Question: What will happen if you don’t take the advice?
Card: 8 of Wands
Interpretation: If you don’t trust things to happen as they need, you will squander precious energy by putting it toward avenues where it will be wasted. You’ll act with haste and make rash decisions in order to protect yourself or others, and will only cause more harm in the long term.

Question: What will happen if you do take the advice?
Card: 4 of Wands
Interpretation: If you can trust yourself to free fall, you will eventually land in a place of temporary victory. You will have time to breathe and take stock of your life and the new changes which have occurred. Breathe, rest, and regain your strength. This won’t be the end of the journey, though, and much dedication  will be required to continue to make gains. Your new, or old but improved perhaps, relationship will need nurturing.

Question: What will you learn from this?
Card: 6 of Cups
Interpretation: The past remains with us in the present, and influences our future. Broken relationships, old regrets, and unfinished business weigh on us until we deal with them fully and are able to heal and move on. By doing that tough emotional work, you not only free your present and future of those burdens, but also free your past of the dark associations you’ve been tagging it with.

#2024

When I visited a psychic a few weeks ago, she told me I had the archangel Raphael with me. That seemed odd – shouldn’t I be a godless heathen in the eyes of the angels? – but hey, I’m not going to turn down spiritual help no matter what belief system it comes from. So for my most recent personal tarot spread, I decided to see what Raphael might want (assuming he’s still around, or ever was). I used a spread specific to him which is all about healing:

Question: Your ability to self heal
Card: Two of Cups
Interpretation: The thing that has the greatest potential to heal me and improve my life is my relationship with my wife. Our partnership is built on mutual love, trust, honesty, and genuine affection. Being with her has forced me to deal with a lot of my issues, which has lead to greater wellbeing on a physical, emotional, and spiritual level for me. Other close relationships in my life are important, of course, and probably factor into this card as well, but I think it’s primarily indicating my romantic relationship.

Question: What blocks communication (nature of the illness)
Card: Knight of Cups
Interpretation: The Knight of Cups says I am emotionally passive and non-confrontational, which leads to me being easily swayed or convinced to put my own emotions or needs aside. I can also be too kind or sympathetic, which also causes me to ignore my feelings. Wow. I didn’t come here to be attacked, man. …too bad it’s really, really accurate. I don’t like talking about my feelings, okay?! The universe doesn’t have to beat me over the head about it, sheesh.

Question: Factor slowing healing down (avoid)
Card: Queen of Swords reversed
Interpretation: Like the Queen of Swords, I can let negative emotions like pettiness, narcissism, bitterness, and loneliness hurt myself and my relationships with others. Likewise, I can let my fear of hurting someone else get in the way of resolution. I also fear leaving the past behind to move into the future, which obviously hinders my healing as well.

Question: This supports healing
Card: Ten of Cups reversed
Interpretation: I get it, okay? I’ve got some emotional work to do with regards to my family. Can we talk about something else now pls.

Question: Do this to heal (action advice)
Card: Ace of Wands
Interpretation: The Ace of Wands is a powerhouse of creative energy and possibility. It tells me to get going and do something creative; to take this spark of energy and excitement and use it to challenge myself and grow. I believe this card is referring in part to my current drive to become a better tarot reader, as well as to expand my psychic senses. I have been giving free readings on Tumblr (happy to do them here, too!), which is allowing me to get to know my deck better than when I only ask questions about myself. After my fallow spiritual period, the Ace of Wands encourages me to pick up the pace again.

Question: Outcome in the near future, provided advice is acted on
Card: Eight of Wands
Interpretation: The Eight of Wands is the natural progression from the Ace of Wands. With the ace’s energy harnessed and put to good use, the Eight of Wands promises productivity, success, and adventure. It’s motto could be “full steam ahead!”, and it’s a great card to pull for an outcome.

Additional thoughts: I found it interesting that the spread is dominated by cup cards, though wands dominate the right, or outcome, side of the spread. Considering wands are the suit I most identify with, and I struggle with accepting and expressing my emotions, this makes total sense. I don’t usually do such complicated spreads, so this was good practice for interpreting the layout of the cards, and not just the cards themselves. What is even more interesting, though, is that there are no major arcana present. Every single time I do a reading with Bast I pull at least one major arcana. Even when I do readings for other people, major arcana cards are pretty common if I’ve asked Her to help me. That there are no major arcana cards, or any other cards I frequently pull, tells me I definitely wasn’t communicating with Bast. I can’t prove I was communicating with Raphael, of course, but it was cool to see how the spread changed when I wasn’t working with my usual deity.

#2021

After my Samhain ritual of remembrance for all the cats I’ve known and lost, I conducted an autumn-themed tarot reading (layout found here) with Bast. As you can see, She really does LOVE throwing major arcana cards at me. I usually pull at least one or two each reading, but four?!

Question: Harvest – What is one thing I should take with me into the upcoming season?
Card: The Fool
Interpretation: What a perfect card to pull for this question. The Fool is a card filled with wonder, adventure, and a willingness to learn. The Fool embarks on their journey with open eyes, leaving behind any burdens or preconceptions so that they are open to receiving whatever the world sends to them. Considering I’m just coming out of a long slump and am working to enhance my spiritual and psychic senses, this card tells me that I’m on the right path. I need to move forward with the courage and sincerity of the novice to continue my spiritual journey.

Question: Compost – What is one thing I should leave behind?
Card: The High Priestess (reversed)
Interpretation: The High Priestess is a card of magic, mystery, and intuition; reversed, it can represent being overly analytical, relying too much on external validation, and ignoring your inner voice. The High Priestess urges me to leave behind all of my self-doubt, fear, and need to understand and control everything in my world. Moving forward, I need to open myself to not only the messages being sent from the universe, but from within me as well. I need to trust my own experiences and beliefs, and stop seeking a “proof” that will never be good enough. Perhaps even more importantly, I must give myself what I need, not just what I think is necessary to look or be a certain way.

Question: Light – What is one thing I should take out into the world?
Card: Judgement (reversed)
Interpretation: For some reason, I have a hard time interpreting Judgement when I draw it. Reversed, it can represent upcoming consequences of a bad decision or negative karma. It can also represent an unwanted change, unhappy ending, or the necessity of hard choices. There isn’t anything in my life currently that could play out that way (that I know of) so I was drawing a blank. I thought maybe I would be called upon to help someone else through a rough time or to make a difficult decision. However, my wife pointed out that it could also mean giving others what they deserve, a sort of reversing of the object being judged. Either way, it sounds like I’m being urged to speak my mind truthfully and directly.

Question: Dark – What is one thing I should meditate on?
Card: The Emperor
Interpretation: I pulled this card last time, too. The Emperor represents order, control, responsibility, and rationalization. It can encourage creating order out of chaos by bringing structure and balance to your life. However, it can also represent the duality of logic and intuition; the Emperor is no dictator, but a ruler who understands how all things must balance each other. I think this card plays the same role as it did in my last reading, in that it’s reminding me to be diligent and study-oriented in this next phase of my learning.

Later I pulled one card to determine what kind of home our current foster kitten, Mitch, would go to.

Question: What kind of forever home will Mitch go to?
Card: 5 of Pentacles
Interpretation: The Five of Pentacles is a card about stagnation and sorrow. This card denotes someone who is drowning in spiritual poverty, who is feeling isolated and hopeless. The Shadowscapes version shows a woman loosely bound in thorns, her head bowed by her fears and worries. However, because she is so weighed down with her sorrow, she cannot see the butterfly right before her or the beautiful flowers that grow on the vines. Here, I believe this card represents someone (or perhaps an entire household) who is drowning in negative emotions and in desperate need of a light in the darkness. I think Mitch, with his playful attitude and sweet disposition, will be the companion this person needs to bring them out of their depression. After pulling this card, there was no way I could even consider keeping Mitch (though I wanted to!). He clearly has a very important job ahead of him, and I’m sure he’ll face it with the curiosity and courage he showed while staying with us.

Thoughts?

#2017

I need to stop being lazy and start actually recording my tarot readings and other pagan practice stuff, so HERE GOES:

I’ve been in a deep, months-long religious funk, but last week I finally knelt down at my altar and spent time with Bast. Meekly, I laid out my cards to check in with Her (meaning “ask if She was angry with me”). I laid out the following reading:

Question: How do You see our relationship currently?
Card: 3 of Wands
Interpretation: Bast gave me this card back when I first started to work with Her and had asked a similar question. I’ve pulled it a couple times since, and it always gives me a feeling of adventure and excitement. The Shadowscapes deck’s picture is of a traveler standing on the edge of a cliff, overlooking a deep wooded valley splashed with sunlight. At their side stands a small cat, which gazes into the future with them. It’s a very uplifting card, and I was very relieved to pull it. She’s not mad!

Question: Where do You want our relationship to go next?
Card: The Emperor
Interpretation: A major arcana card. Of course. I haven’t drawn The Emperor before, so my understanding of it isn’t solid. I sense an emphasis on structure, concrete goals, and rationality. There is also an urging to be neither too rigid nor too flexible. My exploration into the clair- senses will require more studiousness and planning than I have employed previously. Sounds like tough but rewarding work ahead.

Question: What do You want me to do to accomplish this?
Card: 8 of Pentacles
Interpretation: The pentacles are, for whatever reason, my least favorite suit and I have to work to overcome my dislike of any pentacle card I pull. In this one I read an emphasis on returning to a novice state, to nurture learning and maybe seek a new skill to learn. This may be encouragement to learn new styles of divination and intuition, or perhaps a more physical skill or hobby. I’ve been meaning to mess around with my pendulum…

I’m also interested in developing my psychic senses to better communicate with my gods and other entities, so I conducted a reading about this with Bast and drew the following:

Question: What is blocking my third eye?
Card: The Hermit
Interpretation: A major arcana, no surprise there. I’m not totally sure how to read it, though. Does it mean not enough patience and introspection, or too much? I sense it’s maybe indicating a lack of wisdom and experience, that I don’t yet know how to go about building my psychic powers and that’s why I feel like I’m blocked. At the same time, though, I feel like it’s also cautioning me to not become too much the hermit in this process – that I need to seek out the experience and knowledge of others to help me grow.

Question: How can I unblock it?
Card: 9 of Wands
Interpretation: In the Shadowscapes deck, this card shows a line of sentinels standing ready to defend their land. It speaks of defense, strength, vigilance, perhaps even some final battle for which energy must be reserved. In this context this might caution diligence and vigilance, which makes sense considering I’ve been hoping for an easy and quick fix.

Question: What will the outcome of my current path be?
Card: Queen of Cups
Interpretation: I grinned when I flipped this card over. The Queen of Cups is a card of intuition, emotion, and psychic ability. If she is where my path eventually leads, then I must be doing something right. I think I need to be studious, patient, and retain my strength for this road.

Coincidentally (NOT), I recently offered Bast a fortune cookie and the fortune inside said. “Rome wasn’t built in a day, be patient”. So thanks, Mom, for hammering that lesson home.

I also attempted my first meditation intended to open or unblock my third eye. I’m not very good at quieting my mind, so the session felt unproductive. I did have an interesting mental image of an arrow being fired into the center of my forehead, right into my third eye. It reminded me of the dungeons in Ocarina of Time where you have to shoot the eye icons to make doors open and close. Afterwards I didn’t feel any different or more magical; however, I was kinda woozy and one ear seemed oddly plugged when I sat up. My stomach also hurt the rest of the night, but my stomach always hurts so I can’t read much into that.
Thoughts, anyone?

#1952

I serve the sun and moon, though not in any form from any myths yet told. This is not a masculine sun and feminine moon, fallow winter to fertile summer, balance and symbiosis. This is not The Lovers or The Wheel; this is The Hanged Man and the Five of Swords. I serve a sun and moon who usher in the solstices with godblood and death. I serve a cowardly sun and an apathetic moon. I serve an addicted sun and an ascetic moon. I serve a sun who burns too brightly and gives too much, and a moon who’s ever shadowed and gives too little. I serve cruel gods. Bitter gods. Rotting gods. I serve gods who are ever dead and ever dying. I serve gods who love and rage and sorrow with equal ferocity, and who demand offerings of blood and tears. I serve gods who would by no other be served, whose shackles are ancient and unbreaking. I serve gods whom no other would serve, and I would do so regardless of chains.

#1929

I dream about tarot cards. I hold a deck in my hands and draw a card – The Devil, perhaps, or the Two of Swords. I toss the deck into the air to let the cards fall where they may, all face down. I pick one at random – Death – and say to the figure beside me, See, all the cards I draw mean death.  By which I mean, All the cards I draw mean Daren.

#1901

Do you allow the use of a divination technique only once? Is that why you allowed the cards to speak for you, then scrambled every subsequent message? Is that why you conjured one meaningful book quote, yet choose only the most useless and innocuous when I attempt it again? Is that why every time I think I have stumbled upon the one way you’ll let a connection be established between us, it only works once and then causes me nothing but confusion? Of course, you say. Why did it take me so long to catch on? (Did we really choose such a dense scribe?)

Would it be so terrible, that connection? Would it be so awful to give me more than the barest, vaguest hint of what you want me to know or do? I’m not trying to cheat or take the easy route; you know I’m always willing other face whatever you throw my way. I just want to be certain for once, instead of guessing at what important message I think you’re sending. Hell, I’m not even sure that you’re sending anything! All I can act on are my hunches, my feelings, my instincts, and how am I to ever know if they’re right? When you are everywhere and everything to me, everywhere and everything could be a message I’m missing, and I know you well enough to know you do not deign to repeat yourselves. I’m left, therefore, assuming I’m always five steps behind and forever rushing to catch up. And you wonder why my anxiety levels are so high?

#1900

So I did a tarot reading last night. I have felt that Wepwawet has been watching over me lately and I wanted to do a reading to identify Him officially and ask what He wanted from our connection. I asked Bast to help me with the reading, since I wasn’t 100% sure the entity was indeed Wepwawet and I seem to have more successful readings with Bast than anyone else. So with Her help, I laid out a 6 card spread I found online. This was my reading:

1) The Spirit: Page of Pentacles reversed
— Narrow-minded, selfish, rebellious, illogical, difficult, petty, obsessive compulsive, delay
2) Personality, Abilities, and Traits: Four of Pentacles upright
— Wealth, hard work, material possessions, conservative management, financial security, being miserly, not taking risks
3) Omens and Signs, Manifestation, Appearance: Two of Wands reversed
— Delay, incompetence, excessive pride, misgivings, being overwhelmed or disillusioned, abuse of power or wealth, lack of activity or interest
4) What They Want From You: The Tower reversed
— Passing of trauma, or a worse situation, failure, bondage, injustice, confinement
5) Things to Know: Queen of Cups reversed
— Fickle, vain, emotional, clouded judgement, enabler, codependency, mental illness, infidelity
6) Things to Avoid: The High Priestess reversed
— Misuse of or ignoring intuition, prejudice, secrets revealed, mental illness, too analytical, hidden enemies, self-destruction, listen to your subconscious

This reading totally confused me because I have heard Wepwawet is very laid back and… well, the opposite of this reading. I turned to Bast for help and asked Her to give me one card for clarification.

7) Clarification card: Five of Swords upright
— Negative energy, hostility, defeat, struggle, sabotage, betrayal, revenge, consequences, mistrust, accept what you cannot change

This card felt like a slap in the face – it’s the card I associate with Daren. In the Shadowscapes deck, this card features a fallen angel who looks strikingly similar to him. That, combined with the negativity of the card, gives me hella Daren vibes.

I came away with about a million questions and no answers. The next day I talked it over with my girlfriend and she pointed out that Tanim and Daren have been sending me lots of angel imagery lately. She suggested perhaps Wepwawet was trying to speak with me, but was blocked by one of them. She suggested interpreting the reading again, but with the cards in their upright positions. Their reversals, she thought, might be Daren’s doing. With that in mind, therefore, I reread the cards (but not until after our fire alarm went off for “no reason” in my altar room, which seemed eerily well-timed).

1) The Spirit: Page of Pentacles
— Positive finances, education, open-mindedness, goals, introvert, reliable friend, scholar, payoff for hard work and practicality, attention to detail
2) Personality, Abilities, and Traits: Four of Pentacles reversed
— Greed, miserliness, envy, wasteful essential, lack of fulfillment, money problems or worries
3) Omens and Signs, Manifestation, Appearance: Two of Wands
— Beginning of a collaboration, ambition, growth, partnership, travel or business, hard work becomes success, restlessness before the start of a venture
4) What They Want From You: The Tower
— Disruption, shock, chaos, major change, release, death of illusion, break the chain of social conventions
5) Things to Know: Queen of Cups
— Sensitivity, intuition, empathy, artistic, loyal, caring, feminine, easily influenced
6) Things to Avoid: The High Priestess
— Intuition, subconscious, dreams and hidden messages, sexuality, femininity, inner mind, higher truths

So, obviously this reading is much more positive. The first and third cards are much more in line with what I was originally expecting from Wepwawet, though I’m still thrown off by the second, fourth, and sixth. Overall, though, I still feel lost. Ugh, why did I take up divination?

#1899

i feel off today – yesterday – this week – whatever
i pulled the cards but couldn’t read them
it felt like they were making fun of me

do i ask stupid questions?

this vanilla chai’s too watery
and tastes like root beer
and I’m not very good at my job