#2035

I’m starting another DnD session and so I wanted to create another character, that way I don’t mix story lines up. I am therefore pleased to present to you… Dhashi, my anime magical girl aasimar warlock! She is a precious bundle of joy whom the real world is probably going to crush. I’m so excited.

Name: Dhashimri (“Dhashi”)
Age: 16
Gender: Female
Race: Aasimar
Class: Warlock
Alignment: Lawful good
Level: 1
General physical description: About 5’6″, slim and slightly muscular (from helping on her parents’ farm), long silver-blond hair, pale skin, bright blue eyes (which may indicate she’s of a solar aasimar line)
Dress style: Whatever the DnD version of pastel lolita would look like, so sugary sweet and really not very practical for an adventurer, probably; also, she has a staff that transforms her into her magical girl outfit for fighting bad guys, the outfit being blue and white with white wings (she can’t use them to fly, though, they’re just pretty anime wings)
Religion: Like many aasimar, she follows the Mulhorandi pantheon (which just so happens to be based on Kemeticism, HOW COINCIDENTAL UNIVERSE), with Ma’at as her otherworldly patron
Weapon of choice: She uses a staff called the Staff of Justice, which was given to her by Ma’at; the staff can be used to transform into her magical girl outfit, as a staff, or as a kind of bow
Hobbies: Thwarting evildoers, making friends, helping people, being positive, baking
Random skills: Can cry on command, knows a lot about farming, is good with animals and kids
Strongest positive personality trait: She remains positive and solution-oriented in nearly any situation, and is happy to do whatever is needed of her to get the task done; she’s also a very loyal and protective friend
Strongest negative personality trait: She takes people at face value without questioning their motives or being otherwise suspicious of people who seem overly nice, and has a hard time accepting betrayal
Sense of humor: She laughs often and about many things, and enjoys puns; she does not approve of “dirty” humor, though, especially if it’s degrading to a group of people or done at the expense of someone’s feelings
Temper: She’s very hard to truly anger, and when betrayed or otherwise tricked she tends to get more sad and disappointed than angry
Consideration for others: She assumes the best of most people and is always ready to lend a helping hand, be it to rescue someone from a dragon’s lair or help an old lady safely cross the street
How other people see her: It depends on your own personality; jaded or cruel people will find her annoyingly optimistic and cutesy, but more generous people will think she’s very sweet and admire her dedication to doing good in the world
Opinion of herself: She strongly believes her destiny is to defeat evil wherever she finds it, but her conviction doesn’t make her arrogant or otherwise full of herself; she just honestly believes she will triumph over evil because she is kind-hearted and believes in the essential goodness of the world
Background: Something happened to her parents when she was an infant, and she was taken in by a same-sex halfling couple (tiny gay dads!) who raised her on their farm; they didn’t know at the time that she was an aasimar, but when her heritage became obvious they made sure to raise her knowing who and what she was, and encouraged her to seek her destiny beyond their tiny farm
Philosophy of life: Good will always triumph over evil if you try hard and have faith!
Most important thing to know about this character: She may be young and childish in some ways, but she is definitely serious about her destiny and will go to great lengths to accomplish her goals

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Other boring info for me to remember
Charisma: +2
Wisdom: +1
Armor: Light leather
Weapons: Besides her staff, two daggers and 20 “bolts” for her staff-turned-bow
Other items: Component pouch (for spell stuff), scholar’s pack (Book of Lore, bottle of ink, pen, parchment, bag of sand, small knife); also a piece of parchment which, when you draw someone on it and roll dexterity, can reveal the person’s deepest secret
Cantrips: true strike, sword burst
Spells: unseen servant, comprehend languages
Skills: Religion, Investigation
Vision: See 60 feet in dim light as if daylight, and in darkness as if dim light
Resistance: Necrotic and radiant damage
Languages: Common, Celestial, Halfling
Hit Dice: 1d8 per level
Hit Points at 1st Level: 8 + Constitution modifier

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#2031

I’m starting another DnD campaign, so I decided to design my new character based on a character creation tarot spread from Tarot Sybarite. The reading ended up matching the character I was considering anyway, which I took as a sign that I should definitely use her. So I’ll be playing an aasimar warlock “magical girl” whose pact is with a celestial being. Think Cardcaptor Sakura meets DnD meets my need to create irritating but loveable characters. Personality details below, as per the reading:

Character archetype
The card: The Hanged Man
Interpretation: This character is on a journey to expand her worldview, and she is willing to put herself in uncomfortable or dangerous situations to do so. She seeks knowledge of the world, both good and bad, and is prepared to change and grow as necessary from these experiences. She has thus far lived a sheltered life, and has much to learn about the realities of the world.

Best personality trait
The card: The Page of Swords
Interpretation: This character is unfailingly honest and values truthfulness and kindness. She strives to be analytical and flexible in order to make the right decisions, but she does not fear or hide her emotions either. She feels confident that she is on the right path, and this confidence makes her a very direct, forthright person. Part of this honesty is her youthful, idyllic worldview, though, which may change as she comes to understand life is full of gray areas.

Worst personality trait
The card: 4 of Swords
Interpretation: This character never rests, as she feels she must always be acting to do right and correct wrongs. She doesn’t recharge her batteries or give herself time to meditate on the experiences she’s had and the lessons she’s learned. This can obviously be harmful to her, as she only has so much energy, but it can also be harmful to her party – or just make her really irritating to be around!

Motivation
The card: 2 of Pentacles
Interpretation: This character needs to learn to balance multiple obligations. She wants to help everyone and fix everything, but that isn’t always possible. Trying to do so stretches her too thin and causes her to neglect herself or put her party in danger. She’ll have to prioritize her ideals, which will cause a lot to internal conflict.

Goal
The card: Death
Interpretation: This character hopes to enact radical positive change in the world. Right now her worldview is very black and white, and she believes good can triumph permanently over evil. She’ll seek that goal until her experiences teach her otherwise. This radical change to her worldview and morality will be another outcome of the Death card as well.

#2022

So I was digging around my old Tumblr posts and stumbled across something of which I inexplicably have no memory. It was tagged #dreams, so I suppose it was inspired by a dream I had, but even that is drawing a huge blank. Anyway, I was clearly amused by the idea of Mage as Haytham Kenway’s (Grand Master of the Templar Order’s Colonial Rite, duh) daughter and I can’t believe I didn’t do anything more with it. This doesn’t really count as writing, but it needs to be immortalized somewhere.

[Mild Assassins Creed spoilers below]

Just imagine!

Mage as Haytham Kenway’s legitimate daughter, which would basically make her Templar royalty.
Mage wrecking shit up during the Revolutionary War.
Mage killing Assassins for Fun and Profit.
Mage being the child Haytham is super proud of, though even the Templars are a little scared of her.
Mage saying “May the Mother of Understanding guide us” just to piss off the crusty old Templar dudes.
Mage with a British accent??
Mage breaking like every lady’s etiquette rule of the time, much to the offense of almost everyone except for Haytham.
Mage being on the side of the Templars during the Seven Years’ War, yet also highly amused whenever the Assassins accidentally destroy another city.
Mage as captain of the Jolly Roger, fighting alongside Shay on the open sea.
Mage and Shay not really getting along, but playing nice around Dad.
Mage defeating Connor in battle to avenge her father’s death.
Mage becoming Grand Master in Haytham’s place because the other colonial Templars are all useless or dead.
Mage and Haytham father/daughter bonding time: interrogating people and then killing them when they’ve given you all the useful information they know.
Mage in Georgian/Industrial Revolution era clothing, but all black and piratey. Possibly even some sort of hook hand that doubles as a hidden blade?
Mage in Haytham’s kickass cape.
Mage hearing about Haytham shooting Achilles in the knee and being like “my dad is such a softy :)”.
Mage being such a daddy’s girl, but it’s totally understandable because her dad is HAYTHAM MOTHERFUCKING KENYWAY.

#2018

Characters, Alter Egos, Or Unknowable Nameless Gods?

When someone asks me what I write about, I usually say something like, I have a couple characters I write about and then nothing more. At least, that’s how I answer if I want to sound like a not-crazy person. But if I want to be truthful, I have to say something more like:

I thought I had three characters I wrote about, but it turns out two of them are probably incredibly ancient gods (or ghosts? or angels? or something even older than the very concept of either?) and the other one is an alter ego who has somehow taken on way more agency than I thought possible and may sometimes be used as a mask by dark somethings I am too afraid to face.

Let’s take a closer look at that second one. See, when I was a wee eighth grader I simultaneously discovered Lord of the Rings and DeviantArt. Being obsessed with elves, I made my DA screenname “Darkelvenmage” and quickly developed the moniker into a character who was everything I wanted to be. The Darkelvenmage was tall and willowy, pale as snow with long hair as dark as ravens’ wings, eyes as green as emeralds, and sharp features that highlighted her royalty and mystery. She wore all black and rarely spoke, but heaven help you if you pissed her off; she was heir to ancient magic, a skilled warrior, and had nothing to lose. She had been stripped of her home and her name (hence the brilliant title “dark elven mage”) and therefore wandered the world alone, neither a force of good nor evil. For my chubby, geeky thirteen year old self, Mage became a mask I could put on when I needed to feel like a badass, an alter ego who was always calm and logical, who never let her emotions get the better of her or made a fool of herself. I carried her with me through high school like a sword held between myself and all the bad things I encountered, standing just a little taller and smiling just a little more coldly. She made me feel fierce and untouchable.

In college I had a falling out with a group of online friends I’d made in high school, friends who knew me best through Mage and the story I’d given her to fit into their fantasy world. Feeling hurt and vengeful, I decided to rebel and Mage became the ally turned enemy intent on destroying the world the “good guys” had built. I loved the shock it caused, the drama, and the sudden understanding that nothing bound me to act in a particular way. Why not be the villain? Wasn’t that more fun anyway? Certainly playing Mage as the Big Bad brought me a selfish kind of joy, a way to enact a little revenge for my slighted self. Eventually, of course, some of those friends and I parted ways for good, and others of us reconciled and grew closer. But Mage stayed the villain, one with flair, dark humor, and just a dash of madness. This version of her is different from the silent, haughty one of my high school years, yet they are both true to her form. She is still my alter ego, my champion, the mask I wear on days when I wake up feeling too small and scared.

Sometimes, though, it’s like I look at Mage in my mind’s eye and… it’s not her. Something else watches out her eyes. Something that is not me, nor anything I placed there. Sometimes she feels like I’m not the one in control, like she’s not an alter anything anymore. I feel Lovecraftian presences squirming beneath her skin and taste sour names like Charybdis, Morrigan, Kali at the back of my mouth. I wonder sometimes if I have crafted Mage too well, if I am not the only one who can wear her mask. She is still a character in the strictest sense – I write her story, she does not tell me what to write (as Tanim and Daren do) – but there are times when I meet her eyes and it’s not the better, cooler version of myself staring back. I don’t know what it is, but it feels timeless and very powerful.

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This sketch of Mage is by my bestest frienemy – check out her patreon for more!

#2006

Please find enclosed the most recent DnD shenanigans of my gay-ass tiefling Remr:

  • Having traded most of her weird specimens and loot for actually useful items, Remr found herself in a quandary. There’s someone she wants to romance, but they’re kind of odd and she wants to give them something special. Therefore, when the party’s halfling decided to go shake down criminals for a little fast cash after a (failed) assassination attempt at the Big Bad’s fancy ball, Remr decided to tag along. Still in her ballgown. 
  • She looted some opium from the first confrontation, but never got anything else because after that she cast the Sticks into Snakes spell (she thought a snake would add to their threatening mystique) and everyone was so afraid of the tiefling in a torn ballgown carrying a giant snake that they ran away at the sight of her. Disappointed, she set the snake free (it immediately slithered into the nearest house, causing a small panic) and everyone retired to the local tavern to get hella drunk.
  • She accepted a free CD called the CD of Dark Souls from a creepy masked lady in an alley outside the tavern. She’s hoping her crush might find it interesting.
  • Later on, the party was accosted by a frantic sheep clutching a piece of parchment in its mouth. Since Remr is all interest and zero caution, she immediately read the paper, which happened to be a spell to talk with animals. The sheep then explained that it was a wizard who had been betrayed by his apprentice and needed to get his house and human form back. He said he was very wealthy, so Remr made a deal with him: the party would help him defeat his apprentice, and in return each person would be able to take one thing from his house. Again, Remr was focused on the chance to get some epic and preferably weird loot. 
  • After defeating some other humans-turned-animals sent by the apprentice (from one of which she looted some grizzly bear claws for a possible necklace), the party (sheep wizard included) managed to sneak near the wizard’s tower. It’s important that I note here the location and form of the tower. Located in the Dark Woods outside the city, the tower was made of the trunks and branches of four gigantic live oak trees. It was comprised of three separate platforms and was, in general, pretty cool. 
  • While their half-elf played the role of traveling missionary to distract the apprentice, the rest of the party broke into his study. When he returned (seriously considering converting to the half-elf’s moon-based religion), they captured him and attempted to get the two wizards to reconcile. This is known in some circles as “Dr. Phil-ing it”. It worked, miraculously, and the apprentice agreed to return the wizard to his original form. However, the wizard’s wand had been severely altered by the apprentice and when he attempted the spell, it… did not go well. The wizard was turned from a sheep into a blob of flesh. A very dead blob of flesh. 
  • At this point the apprentice, horrified by what he had done, said he would go to the closest temple to convert and atone for him sins. Before he left, however, Remr reminded him of the deal struck with the wizard; they had, after all, helped him get his home back and reconcile with his apprentice. Rather numbed with guilt, shock, and horror, the apprentice told them to take whatever they wanted and left. Remr therefore claimed the treehouse itself as her one piece of loot (and also some “dank ass” lab equipment). 
  • And that is how the party gained a cool Dark Woods headquarters in a random one shot about a sheep wizard. 
  • Out of context quote: “Would you mind if I possibly turn your entire house into snakes?”

#2005

Her family exiled her.
Her friends betrayed her.
The ocean embraced her.

She glides through the frigid water with ease, all shark-smile mouth and long, pale limbs that seem to shift as they sway, maybe arms and legs one moment, maybe tentacles the next, maybe both. The waves whisper to her as they break against the moonlit shore and she replies with a bubbling giggle and a fluid gesture toward land. All around her sinuous body she feels the water respond, heaving and fluctuating as the waves gain momentum until their roaring breakers bury the beach and smash against the road beyond.

She surfaces, looks for her next target. Grins.

The lighthouse.

She is small and yet her tentacled limbs seem endless as they snake through the water and wrap themselves around the weathered tower. Fluid muscles tense and tug; old brick groans and cracks beneath the force. Then with a thunderous grinding the entire structure splinters and collapses, falling outwards into the water in a shower of stone and dust. She gleefully rides the resulting tidal wave as it overtakes the beach, then the road, and smashes into the little town beyond. She then rides the wave as it sucks back out to sea, weaving between thrashing bodies and tumbling debris.

#1999

I dreamed the kind of dream that makes you wish you could draw or were otherwise skilled in a visual art, because there’s no way words can adequately describe it. The dream took place in a militaristic, space-based empire of genetically advanced humans. In this empire, warriors and knights each had their own personal weapon which could be summoned at will (much like the gems in Steven Universe). The weapons were formed with a sort of black energy, which lent them additional versatility and destructive power. Warriors in higher military commands were also linked with their own starships (which looked like Ryo-Ohki from Tenchi Muyo). These ships existed primarily in an alternate but parallel dimension, but could be summoned into the main dimension when needed for battle; in fact, their ability to exist partially in both dimensions simultaneously made them ideal for large battles becauses they could fire on an enemy yet not be directly hit. (Imagine massive starships that can literally ghost through solid objects, such as buildings, to fire on the inhabitants.) Often the ships and weapons were used in honorable battle between knights, but also frequently for full warfare between the empire and dissidents. In addition, the most powerful warriors could also form an energy shield/aura called an ‘aspect storm’ (my brain borrowed the term from The Cold Commands by Richard Morgan) which, if the warrior was particularly skilled, could be controlled like a giant monster to do widespread damage.

In this dream, Tanim was the emperor’s son and being groomed to take his father’s place in the future. He was an admirable warrior with his own ship, and his personal weapon was a black lance that could be turned into a powerful longbow when battling aspect storms. At one point in the dream he stopped by a training session in which some of the best warriors were teamed up against a single man dressed all in black – I recognized him as Daren, though in the dream all Tanim knew was that the stranger was new to his father’s service. Despite being surrounded and outnumbered, Daren easily held command of the fight. His weapon, thin double blades that allowed him superb speed and range of motion, was somehow set to instantaneously cauterize any wound it created. In this way, Daren was able to deal legitimate injuries but the risk of killing someone in one blow was small. Still, he severed several fingers and at least one arm, and maimed others in ways that would permanently remove them from the emperor’s service. Tanim was certainly impressed (okay, and probably pretty turned on), and I think they ended up fighting together against a gigantic aspect storm later on. At any rate, there were lots of explosions and space battles and stuff, and it was awesome.