All in all, Heaven wasn’t quite how Dave had always imagined it would be. Sure, there were the heavenly choirs of angels singing all the time, but someone near the top row had a bit of a tin ear. Jesus was a pretty great guy but he loved punking on the newbies by getting them to try on his crown of thorns, promising you couldn’t feel any pain when you were dead – Dave had believed him, too, and learned the hard way. Mostly, though, he was disappointed by the food, or lack thereof. Not that he’d been expecting a mile long buffet or anything, but Dave had sort of assumed in Heaven you ate ambrosia or fruit from the Garden of Eden. Instead, Saint Whoever-Was-In-Charge-of-Dining-Services seemed convinced all you needed in eternity was… a cereal bar. And just to add insult to injury, they didn’t even have Captain Crunch. Dave was beginning to wish he’d spent his Sundays watching football instead.
[ My girlfriend requested I write a paragraph incorporating the following words: angel, tin, crown, and cereal. This is the spontaneous result. ]