How pathetically dysfunctional we are. I know Daren too well, yet not the part that truly matters. He knows me too well but refuses to employ that knowledge when he needs it most. Would it change anything, I wonder, if we could switch places? If just for one day he could reside in my body and I in his? At least then Daren would understand the longing that cripples me, the ache of loneliness in my chest each time he turns away. I wouldn’t have to find words to describe the unnameable depression weighing me down. And in Daren’s body I could experience firsthand the physical pain and emotional trauma which torment him relentlessly until he lashes out or retreats. I could bear witness to his hell of nightmares and memories so that I know better how to combat their grim effects. I suppose it wouldn’t be a fair trade in some ways, but I don’t care. I would give anything to take my lover’s pain into myself for even just one day. One day with his pain, with his burdens, with his memories and madness, so he can be free of them for a time. I want to understand why he flinches from my touch as much as I want him to understand why I have to try to bridge that gap anyway. We’re pathetic, yes, and dysfunctional, but maybe that’s why we belong together.

4 thoughts on “#1254

  1. I wish we could do this with our lovers – spend a day in their bodies. How different things might be for us all. Thought provoking writing as always!

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