I feel unsettled tonight, like I don’t belong in this place or this time or this reality. I feel as though I should run away and seek the place where destiny waits to crown me or fate to embrace me, but wherever would I go? Surely there is no true temple between the worlds, a hall of marble which slumbers until the time when it may be awakened by an ancient song. Perhaps another night, pacing these whitewashed walls to rid the ache of its potency, I might have fallen in love with such a possibility all over again. It is a comfort, at least, no matter how temporary or fragile. But tonight I cannot bring myself to seek solace in fantasy; it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth like a childhood tonic well past its expiration date. The words have no weight to them, the lullabies no melody sweet enough to clear the fog from my mind. Try as I might, I cannot believe tonight that anything waits for me. I know I am not courageous; I know I am not powerful; I know I am not wise. I feel like a child who went to sleep one night and woke up aged seven years and lost in an unfamiliar world.

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