#1457

it feels like an ocean inside me
rising up, flooding every chamber
but that’s not what I dream about;
I dream about liquid fire
seismic cataclysm
and me screaming over the thunder;
about jet planes nosediving
falling from the sky like diseased birds dashing themselves on rocks
escape by suicide;
about crumbled cities
radiation
refugees and ghosts;
it seems these days
all my nightmares are about losing you

#1455

she says I should write about myself
what I’m feeling, maybe
(what I won’t admit I’m feeling)
but I’m no good at this
I dance around subjects like a fencer
when I should strike
onetwothree
like a boxer
beat them bloody with my fists
curb-stomp their teeth in
and I guess what I’m feeling
is anger
is fear
is helpless
and what I don’t feel is
safe

(but don’t we all?)

I guess what I’m feeling
is angry
angry at a world I can’t trust
angry at a society built to subjugate
everything I am
everything and everyone I hold dear
so angry I want to lash out somehow
brand myself with ink and metal
unleash ghosts, breathe fire
bleed and scream and sing dirges
just fuck shit up, really
and the irony is this fight’s not even the one that hurts

(the most)

because I’m still feinting my blade
see how good I am?
and the real story
the real thing I’m feeling
is as empty as the house I imagine when I look inside myself
and hear
nothing
and see
nothing
and feel
nothing, nothing, NOTHING
because I have been vacated like someone exorcised
and I wonder if they miss the demons, after
the invasive presence
the madness
the companionship

(it’d be something, at least)

(I’d take it)

#1453

there are no terms for how I love you
like the ocean loves the land
like the soil loves the rain
no labels for how I need you
like birds need the wind
like berries need the sun
no categories for how I have become
a salmon swimming upstream
a seed settling in the earth
a falling star disintegrating
atmospheric
kinetic
endless

#1446

So here we meet again, my friend
looks like we’ve got a score to settle
since you’re always talking up your game -
come on, let’s test your mettle

I know you think you’re hot shit
but you’re room temperature at best
a special little snowflake? nope -
you’ll melt like all the rest

You’re getting pretty cocky
with all your buddies gathered ’round
bitch, this ain’t even my final form -
I’ll beat your asses to the ground

They’ve told you that you’ll triumph
’cause good always has to win
but this isn’t Disney, princess -
you better contact next of kin

#1445

I should be writing
…let me check Tumblr real quick
shit, what time is it?

[ Some people have asked if I have a Tumblr - the answer is yes! Only-Fragments is basically a storage place for any images/GIFs/etc that remind me of my characters. An inspiration wall, only online. Feel free to check it out! I have like five followers. ]

#1433

beware the fields, little rabbit
though you long to run and leap
there are fox eyes staring from the grasses
and hawk eyes gleaming in the sky

beware the forests, little rabbit
though it’s cool beneath the boughs
the hunting cats creep on silent feet
and wire traps lay buried in leaves

beware the call of freedom, little rabbit
though the warren is hot and dark
the safe spaces aren’t as safe as promised
and the hunters can smell your blood

#1432

take my voice, sea witch
grant me fine legs in return
a worthwhile bargain
even if each step pains me
at least I’ll be like the rest

take my voice, sea witch
after all, what use are words?
brief, untouchable
yet flesh is warm and solid
bone and blood make us human

take my voice, sea witch
I just want to be normal
feel the things I should
I long to walk on the shore
but now longing’s not enough

take my voice, sea witch
change the self I never chose
give me sensation
for I’ve given up on words
and now I’d give anything

#1411

“I’ll fax that right now”
“can you hold for just a sec?”
hotels tell you lies
-
waiting for a fax
I know it will never come
they’re laughing at me
-
new email pops up
this had better be my fax!
no. no. never. no.
-
fax finally here
they charged the wrong credit card
cycle starts again
-
[ My job involves dealing with hotels across the globe. This is my day, every day. ]