#1515

“Fluffy”

unwilling mother
the opposite of your name
such an angry cat

“Barny”

regal calico
not meant for life in a barn
we gave you better

“Trouble”

intrepid kitten
you were trouble from the start
of course we picked you

“Adam”

I knew you briefly
and should have kept you safer
for that, I’m sorry

“Charlie”

little gray shadow
you were a piece of my soul
I’ll miss you always

“Merlin”

spirit companion
in the corner of my eye
you follow me still

“Deuce”

most spoiled of my sons
you were king of the castle
and acted like it

“Drusilla”

bowling ball kitty
who loved the smell of mens shoes
I hope you lost weight

“Bruno”

purr like a Harley
eyes bright as the harvest moon
please live forever

#1512

website sidebar ad
“lose weight with this one weird trick!”
(a staph infection)

 

[ So guess who has been super sick the last two weeks three weeks like forever and apparently has a staph infection in her mouth and has lost a bunch of weight because the super strong antibiotics make her so nauseous all she can eat are cinnamon toast Eggo waffles? That would be me, the girl who internalizes her stress and emotions to such an intense degree that she physically cripples herself. Brilliant! ]

#1510

late at night my ten year old self yells at me, tears in her eyes and hands clenched in fists, demanding “how could you let this happen? how could you let him go?!” like I had any control, like eight years difference somehow made me an adult with the power to move stars and blood clots, yet I know she can’t understand something so profoundly wrong when her entire world is built upon the framework of What Has Been Therefore Always Will Be, sure she’s stood on damp porch steps and called desperately for lost cats but this loss is incomprehensible and she feels wounded, betrayed, this isn’t how things were supposed to go at all, and all I can say is “I know, I know, I know”